• Alwia

Cleaning Conundrums- and the worst parts of household chores

This one is for all the women (and men) of the world who fight around the clock to keep their homes a safe and habitable space for humans. We owe our health and sanity to these brave soldiers of hygiene as they drudge through our dirty underwear and sniff our scattered socks.  Maintaining a home is a frustratingly tedious, repulsive and perplexing task; and these are 7 reasons why:

1-Clean pillowcases but dirty pillows?

Now here’s a mind-boggling riddle. Why in the world do our lovely clean pillows all eventually develop nasty yellow patches all over them? It’s not like we’re  leaking brain juice through our skulls over night. And even if we did, why do the cases stay clean? What is this sorcery people? And how do you clean dirty pillows anyway?

2-Cleaning under a king-sized bed

Do I look like a mouse? Can I crawl under the bed? No, I’m not that petite.

Are my arms made of elastic? Can I stretch them over 3 meters? I wish, but again, no.

Seriously, how are we supposed to clean under our beds? Aren’t we all tired of getting on our knees, with cheeks on the hard ground flaying about awkwardly with a brush, trying to sweep under them? To hell with smart phones, I want a smart vacuum- a tiny stumpy thing that can hoover under the bed for me and under my sofas for that matter… and tables and cabinets. You get the picture.


Gaps between furniture pieces or gaps between furniture and the wall. Trying to effectively clean  these spots is impossible without moving everything. But I don’t want to do that. Why? Because life is too short. Anyway, surely there’s another solution?

4- Changing duvet covers

Oh yes. We all know this monster.  Duvet covers are torture. In fact, if you ever want to  get rid of someone discreetly, just give them a duvet cover to change. They’ll end up diving inside, getting lost and suffocating in the process. And even then, you’ll probably just end up with a scrambled egg-like lumpy mess.

5- Clothes that are not dirty or clean enough

What is the protocol when handling clothes that are too clean for laundry but too dirty to be folded and put away. Like those tops that have been worn once and faintly smell of you, what do you do with them? Or do they just end up on a chair or the floor?

6- Scoop-less detergent soap

Why don’t they always include them? Am I supposed to use my fingers? It’s such an inconvenience and always ends with you investing a nice cup for the task of measuring the soap. It’s 2017, please include a scoop.

7- Putting a bed sheet on a bed pushed against the wall

Why is this an issue? Because it forces you to climb onto the bed and pull the sheet as you’re sitting on top of it. Maybe someone can invent a  long bed sheet clasp that can help you grab onto a sheet corner and drag it over that last bothersome corner.

Do these things bother everyone too? If not, what are your cleaning conundrums? Please let me know and remember to like, comment and share.


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